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One year ago I started oil painting. Now, up until then I did not consider myself artistic in any way. But, I have been walking my talk.  I’ve been writing blogs about being present, being kind to your little person inside of you, and being grateful for everything I have and will have in my life. Last year I began feeling like I wanted to be creative.  My friend suggested painting.  I signed up for a class and voila! I could actually paint. At first I thought the instructor should get the credit, but she never touched the canvas.  She showed me how to do the strokes with liquid on the newspaper. I actually created a beautiful picture.

Now, I’m not asking you to go out and take painting lessons. I’m asking you to look at your life.  Notice where you are totally present and where you are not.  Look where you are kind to your little person inside you and where you are not.  Look where you feel grateful and where you do not. In the areas “where you are not” pick one tiny goal each day.  For example, if you say unkind things to yourself because you think you are overweight, look in the mirror 3 times during the day and say, “I love me just the way I am.” or If one of your areas is that you feel pressure to meet the deadline you promised, give yourself permission to make this a priority and get it done, or renegotiate the due date. Notice how you actually feel better by saying the positive comment. The little unkind things we do to ourselves, block the energy flow of creativity.

Experiment with saying the positive and kind things to yourself.  The key here is to feel it.  So, if you say, “I’m grateful for the home I live in.” Really feel grateful. How you feel is a choice: a moment by moment choice. You can alter your life when you make this choice in favor of feeling good. Something creative might just grab you.

It’s that time of year!  Time to plan for next year and creating goals to move forward.  In thinking about goals for the year have no more than 3-5 at any given time.

The first step is to have a big overall Context that all your specific goals feed into. For example your Context may be to have peace of mind and harmony in all my areas of life. As you look at areas or categories in your life, select goals that will support this context.

Next, draw a large daisy with the word “YOU” in the center.  Each petal is a category of your life: self-care, finance, business, family, fun, spirituality, etc.  look at all your categories and pick the top three that you want to work on.  Let’s say self-care, business and spirituality.  Evaluate how you want to enhance or improve each area. Select a goal or two for each and make it measurable.  For instance: self-care: Lose 12 pounds in First Quarter 2016, increase sales by “5,000 per month, and meditate daily. These goals can be measured so you know when you get there.

The next step is to Chunk It Down.  This means to break down the goal to daily steps. So, for losing weight: 12 pounds in 12 weeks = one pound per week.  Pick a day of the week and weigh yourself each week.  Also calculate how many calories or intake you need to lose the weight.  Then plan your meals every week so you can be successful.  The more specific and detailed you are, the more successful you will be.  To increase sales by $5000/month, calculate how much your average sale is (let’s say $500) and identify how many you have to sell to make your goal. To meet $5000, you would have to sell 10 more per month.  Chunk it down to weekly: 10/ 4 weeks = 2.5 or 2-3 more per week.  Then calculate how many calls you must make to get a yes.  Let’s say 10 more.  For every 10 calls you get 1 sale.  You need 10 sales to meet your goal which means 100 more calls to make your sales.  Divide 100 by 4 weeks and you need to make 25 more  calls a week which means 5 more calls per day than you are currently doing.   Schedule your time for calls every day and make those calls.  If you do the calls every day, the numbers game will kick in and you will meet your target.

Each Quarter revisit your goals modify the existing goals. If you have achieved the goal, add a new or expanded goal all with the idea of creating peace of mind in your life.

In summary

1 Pick a Category

2 Select 3-5 goals to achieve

3 Make the goals measurable

4 Chunk it down to what to do daily.

5 Success

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It’s the holiday season and we celebrate Thanksgiving this week. In this hectic time we often forget or postpone taking care of ourselves.  It’s often difficult to say no.  No to extra food. No to working very hard in your business so you can have time off. No to anything where you think you are needed like volunteering, hosting etc.

I’d like to reframe "saying no."  A no to someone might mean a yes to you and your self care. Saying no the the binge eating over the holidays is not a deprivation.  It’s saying yes to your health and well being. Saying no the the extra work might mean some things don’t get done now. It’s saying yes to you and meeting your own needs. Saying no to hosting the holiday meal this year might make some waves and you are saying yes to you.

You don’t want to disappoint, upset or offend others so you say yes to them to avoid this possibility.  As a result you often feel overwhelmed, disappointed or upset. There is a harmony in looking at a no as saying yes to yourself.  The old adage comes up, “Take care of yourself so you are able to take care of others.” Even the airlines tells you to put your mask on before you help your children or those around you.

Each time you are asked to do something ask yourself, “Is this a no to them or a yes to me.” Feel the answer. If it’s taking care of yourself and doing no harm to others, it’s a yes to you so say no.

Try evaluating each invitation or request of you when you feel a little conflicted, “Would you please stay late at the office today to finish a project?” Go inside and see what you are feeling or thinking about the possibility.  If it feels like you should stay and you have other plans, saying no is truly a saying yes to you.  Because a yes to them would be saying no to you.

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The Holidays are often a very frantic time.  There is so much to do,  presents to buy, decorations to hang, etc etc etc.  We get so much into the doing of the holidays that we often miss out on the being of the holidays.  The being of the holidays is about love, compassion, giving, sharing, forgiving. When we are in the doing we must consciously experience the being. One can be in the present moment even while doing, but it takes practice.  When I am frantic, trying to get things done, remember all the things to do, I sometimes find myself making mistakes, forgetting things, missing steps or having small accidents.  This is because  am not in the moment.  

Let’s take the holiday meal, for example. The moment we decide to host the meal, our minds race into the future. Planning the meal is the closest we get to the present moment because we have to really focus on how much of this and what kind of that to serve. Preparing the meal is usually a rush because there is so much to do before the guests arrive. (We are in the future) The guests arrive and we spin trying to take care of their needs. Trying to anticipate what they need. (future) Serving the meal is also a future thing. Being the host you keep an eye on everyone to see if they need anything. Your attention is “out there” and so you don’t even truly enjoy your own meal. And then you must serve dessert. After everyone has gone home you remember the good times. (Now you're in the past.)Very few present moments.

Let’s do that meal again. I’m the host of the meal this year. I enjoy the thought of having everyone here.  I plan the meal feeling the “taste” of each dish. YUM! Then the time comes to prepare the meal. I enjoy each task: peeling potatoes, I notice the little eyes and marvel at how the universe presents us with such wonderful things to eat. Stuffing the turkey, I love it that the cavity is big enough to hold the tasty dressing. Cleaning up, I appreciate hot water and soap.

The guests arrive.  I greet each one with hugs and love, totally being with each for a moment. I set up a self serve situation so I can be with my guests and not worry about meeting their needs. I encourage others to help and clean up because we are a small community and communities work together. We laugh and share during the meal and decide to wait for dessert.  What a wonderful, peaceful and joyful day we are having.

I choose being in the moment. It’s so easy, flowing and full of love and appreciation. Here’s to you choose being in the moment this holiday season.

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“Thanksgiving is a national holiday celebrated as a day of giving thanks for the blessing of the harvest and for the preceding year” Wikipedia.  There are multiple stories about the first Thanksgiving with respect to how it came about and what it meant then. What does it mean in today’s world?  Families gather together, eat drink and be merry or not. Sometimes it feels more about football than giving thanks.

I start every day with being grateful and thankful for my life and experiences. I am thankful for the air I breathe and the roof over my head. I am even grateful for the things that haven’t happened yet. So, in that sense, Thanksgiving occurs every day for me. Gratitude is the foundation for abundance. Everything we need or want is there for the taking.  All we need to do is be aware, believe and know that this is true.  AND be in alignment with ourselves and our higher power. Giving thanks is a map to these connections. Taking conscious actions toward our desires is the pathway to getting what we want.

What do you want this Thanksgiving? A better relationship with a family member? More money? A new car? Better health? What actions can you take to have what you want? Choose something and do just one little thing towards achieving it everyday until Thanksgiving Day-See what happens.

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It’s almost Halloween and the Christmas decorations are in the stores. This is such a statement about how easily we are distracted from being in the present moment.  How can one truly enjoy Halloween when faced with Christmas?  And, how can one truly enjoy the spirit of Christmas when it’s two months away and there is candy for Halloween to buy?

Being in the present moment means at this moment there is no past and no future, only this moment.  Stress is created by what we do to ourselves in a situation, not the situation itself. Can you see how shopping for a Halloween costume, being surrounded by Christmas stuff not to mention Thanksgiving.  All of the thoughts are for the future and stress starts to build because of what we think might happen, want to happen or what if.... We worry about what to get Susie, or the need to volunteer at the school party, or having enough money, etc.  How can one enjoy a moment when tormented by all these things that need to be done with no time or money and in secret so it’s a surprise? Worrying about what to get, will they like it, I have to do it today are all conversations from our past experiences and beliefs.  All the worrying about what to get for Christmas dinner, get the tree up and wrap the presents are all conversations about the future which isn’t even here.

A question I have to ask myself is, “right now at this moment do I need to think about _____?” Right now at this moment is there a problem?”  The answer, if I am honest with myself, is NO. To be in the moment on a regular basis I began to practice being in the moment while cleaning house.  I experienced doing the dishes as a fun experience.  Running the vacuum great exercise. I moved on to Business.  I began making a game out of calls to make and set the timer and totally focused on calls.  I scheduled all activities and appointments in my calendar.  I didn’t have to think about the speech I needed to prepare while I was writing a blog. I knew I would work on the speech on Thursday 1-3.  

Take on a new mantra for the next few weeks, “I am in the moment.”  Schedule shopping times, cooking times and any task that will take time.  You can have less stress this Holiday season.

Please leave a comment about your stress over the Holidays

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I have been misaligned with my purpose recently.  I was disconnected from myself and God having my own pity party about most everything.  Several events occurred in the past several weeks that I let throw me into the muck. Alas and alack!  My muck was “I don’t want to do that,  I don’t feel like it.” I had no energy, no interest in doing anything. Well,I talked to my coach and what came up for me is that my little girl wasn’t playing enough. I was doing all kinds of things for others and nothing for her.  She had enough.

I could just picture a little me standing there arms crossed and a big frown. You know how a two year old can have a tantrum?  Well, I did have one for several days. I actually gave myself space to wallow in my pity party. Really connect with that little girl and listen to her. Love her. She told me how she felt and she needed to play. I told her I was sorry for not paying attention to her and I promised to be connected to her. I planned some fun activities, meditated and talked with her off and on through the past several days.

I also noticed that I had been too busy to meditate and that I hadn’t spent my five minutes feeling grateful before I got up in the morning.  I also had stopped talking to God. I was totally disconnected.

Over the past few days I lost a client, missed my grandkids, cut myself cooking, and my dog had to get my attention to play with him. I took several deep breaths, listed many things I was grateful for (even the things that weren’t here yet), In meditation I asked to realign and for direction in fulfilling my purpose. Well, I have felt more aligned and present to my little girl and aligned and present to my God within. In the past two days I received a text from my Grandaughter checking in, a bonus check came in from out of the blue and a friend called as I was thinking of her. It’s amazing how the universe provides us with everything we need or want when we are in alignment.

So ask yourself, “Where am I worried, where am I suffering, where am I lacking?” It’s your little person inside reaching out to you.  LISTEN! S/he is telling you what s/he needs and wants.  You can satisfy he/r (and you) by giving he/r what is wanted.  You will be amazed at how astute s/he is at identifying what needs to happen to be satisfied and supported.

What a great lesson in how easy it is to fall off track and how easy it is to get back into manifestation mode. It just takes a second and a choice.

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All of us are busy, busy, busy working in the business.  I know I am.  I get caught up in the doing of my business and sometimes forget the being part. The being part is who am I in the business. When I disconnect from myself, my soul, i can get very tired, almost to burnout. Can you relate?

I have found that there are 5 steps that keep my soul in the business. I interact with these stips every day, several times a day.

1. Connect with my soul, myself.  Who am I in the matter?  What is my purpose on the planet? When I am connected to me, I am present, aware, and in action toward fulfilling my purpose.

2. Connect with my Higher Power.  Everything I need or desire is there for me.  All I need to do is be aligned with myself, my higher power and have clarity about with I want. Connecting to my Higher Power and my Soul at the same time keeps me aligned and in action. This alignment is what manifests my wants and desires.

3. Get very clear about how I want the business to look.  What kind of office, if any? What kind of client, how many hours I want to work, and how I want to work with my clients. I write this down to remind me.

4. Be aware of who I am. And my alignment with my Higher Power. Recommit to my purpose and take the actions necessary to achieve my goals. Aware, Commit, Act is a daily moment to moment activity.

5. Gratitude. Every day I am grateful for what I have and what will be here based on my needs and desires and my alignment.

The amazing thing that happens from these 5 steps is total focus on me, my business and my clients. The money comes.

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