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How do you think of the word “Responsibility?”  To me it is a very heavy word usually associated with onus or blame. “I am responsible, therefore it’s my duty or my fault.”  We are NOT perfect and we DO make mistakes.  I know I do. When you look at responsibility as fault or blame, you are “unavailable to respond.” You are in your own head worrying whether you are getting it right or if you did something wrong.   When you are so intent on “getting it right,” you will miss opportunities to truly relate with people. The focus is on yourself rather than on others or the issue at hand.

What if responsible meant the ability to respond, thus “response-able:”   When you are clear, you can truly listen to others and be ABLE to respond in an objective way rather than taking it personally and reacting on “automatic pilot.”

Try this little exercise: Think of the last time you had a conversation with anyone, pay attention to how your body felt. What was going through your mind.  Were you listening to them, watching how they are listening to you?  Were you hearing them or were you thinking of what to say next?  If you can’t remember anything about them in the conversation, you were by yourself in that conversation. Just notice and leave a comment about what you noticed and what you might do differently.

 

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Did you know that you have taught people how to be with you?  If someone at home or at work is treating you badly or at least not as well as you would like, YOU taught them to be that way.  So you are clear about what you want. You know what stops you. You have goals with which to achieve your dreams and you are the CEO of your life.  Now it’s time to teach (or re-train) people how to be with you.  We rarely speak up when we are offended, embarrassed, angry or even satisfied with any circumstance.  When we fail to speak up, we are teaching others that we accept their behavior by default. Have you avoided a confrontation or kept quiet when irritated or embarrassed?

I know you have....we all have.

It takes a tremendous amount of courage to be authentic: to be real.  Fear of confrontation, loss, rejection or looking bad will stop us from being who we are and expressing ourselves fully. How have you taught people to be with you: by letting them know what you want or by default?

Leave a comment about how you have taught a person to be with you and how you might “re-train” them.

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Clarity is usually what stops me. Indecision and procrastination are killers for me to reach my goals. Just as an exercise, pick a goal for yourself (more money, more free time, more clients, etc) then listen to your body and mind. What will come up are the repelling feelings in your body and the “why it won’t work” in your mind. We listen to those conversations and agree with them...thus we stop short. Our own opinions and judgements stop us. When we know what we want, we are clear and can develop a pathway to get there. Are you clear about what you want?

Only when you get clear will you get results. Whether in business or your personal life. I have a free tool I'd love to share with you. Just tell me where you want it sent and I'll have it delivered straight to your inbox. All I ask in return is that you come back here and let me know what insights you had!

And of course, if you found it useful please go ahead and share it :)

I used to really be mushy about goals: I didn’t know if I would live up to them or I didn’t really want to be accountable. What if I just didn’t want to do them?

Do you ever feel the same?

I find most of my clients have the same initial thoughts I used. Once we dive into coaching though, an entirely different story emerges. My clients find themselves looking forward to setting quarterly goals because of the ease of developing and fulfilling them that comes from implementing the techniques we review in our sessions.

Want a sneak peak?

Of course you do!

In the coaching we choose 5 year goals and then quarterly goals to meet those 5 year goals. Quarters are easy to manage and fulfill promises. You can see what you intended, what you accomplished and acknowledge yourself for the achievements. AND you are moving toward your 5 year plan step by manageable step.

Sounds pretty easy, right?

BUT what often happens is something (usually the same unconscious 'thing') gets in the way of keeping these promises you've made to yourself. So here's my questions to you - What stops you? Do you know? If not, are you ready to move past this invisible 'thing' that's been keeping you stuck? You might find we're a good fit for each other, it's totally up to you. Hop over to the services page and see if anything strikes a cord there, if so I'll be hearing from you soon!

 

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This is the perfect time to start new productive habits.  I know I get lazy at year end and don’t hold myself as accountable as I do during rest of the year....So many distractions!

So if you're anything like me you're in the same boat so I figure, let's start this year off together and walk through a few simple steps to get organized and get productive.

The first thing you'll do is to clear your mind of all the “clutter” hanging around.  Putting things on paper (or computer doc) gets it out of your head so you can focus on what's really important.  Make a list of all the main areas in your life and under each category list the specifics you need to do.

I find it's easiest to narrow this down to two main categories: business, and personal (and I suggest you do the same).  Start with personal because if you are not fulfilled personally you'll never be fulfilled in business.  Plan at least an hour of “downtime” every day AND put it on your calendar.  EVERYDAY.  You MUST mark out this time first to ensure you keep that time just for you.  This becomes a standing appointment with your self.

Next you'll schedule business and other appointments around this time.  You'll want to be careful to schedule YOUR personal time at a time that is least likely to be wanted by others.  After I've set my personal and business Quarterly Goals (more on that next week) I fill in the remaining time slots.  Once you know you'll be taking care of yourself you can begin to make my goals specifically for Business.

Now that we've got the framework for your calendar planned out, we need some productive goals to fill in the space!  Stay tuned...how to write goals is next.  Until then, leave me your thoughts on scheduling your time - do you have any sticking points that you find come up over and over?  And if you found this helpful please share it!

Love & Light,

Have you ever thought about how well you know what others want or what you think they should want?  I know I have gotten caught in that place. Have you?

Of course you have!

We are all experts on what others need,  BUT few of us really know what WE want.   That’s why we have such difficulty in creating goals for ourselves and our businesses.

You are very clear about what you don’t want.  And you are usually clear about what you want right now when the option is presented, but you probably have little experience in projecting what you want out into the future.

Don’t you look at today and try to imagine what the future will bring based on today?

Yes! You will meander on a curvy path choosing what you want in the moment. (not necessarily with your goals in mind) You will worry, "how will I be able to do that?"  Opportunities will be presented and you will, or won’t see them.  Eventually you might get there.

Try this exercise:  Take one aspect of your business and declare where you will be in 5 years. (ie Have two  store locations) When you stand 5 years in the future you “are” the owner of two locations and you can “look back” to today and see what you did to get here. Notice how confident you feel looking back.

Please share an experience of knowing what you wanted and “made” it show up rather than hoping it it would.

 

Some people are highly skeptical about hiring a life or business coach so let me share with you a recent experience (leaving out names for confidentiality of course)...

I got the greatest compliment today.  I have been seeing a lady to help her with her business.  Because I do transformational work (the result being seeing the world differently and behaving differently in it) changes occur in the person in their personal lives, not only in their business.  This lady has had a long history of severe depression and because of the work we have done, she is planning to go off her meds (under doctor and therapist direction) over the next few months.  Her therapist has told her, adamantly to keep seeing me.  The therapist is totally amazed at the fundamental changes in my lady's reaction to life, decision making, decreased mood swings and sense of confidence that she is in charge of her life, not her life in charge of her.  woo hoo.  It really does work.

This is just one of the many examples of why Life Coaching and Business Coaching are essential in today's society.  There are far too many rocks left unturned by traditional 'therapy' and while I don't suggest you stop seeing a therapist if you have one, I do encourage anyone looking to make a change in their life or their business to consider what resources you've tapped into thus far, the results they've yielded and if those results are not what you were seeking then open your mind to the possibilties that a life or business coach could grant you.

In Light,