Freedom From Fear

How many of you have been afraid at one time or another? Fear of failure, fear to get on stage, fear to pick up the phone. I know that sometimes the phone is just so heavy that I can’t make calls that day or I busy myself with other things and don’t get around to it. Sound familiar?  


What if the circumstance, ie speaking, sales calls or confrontation, is not the problem?  Stress/fear is NOT caused by the circumstance.  It is caused by what we do to ourselves ABOUT the circumstance. Let’s say the phone is very heavy today.  A phone call is basically pushing numbers and saying hello. That in and of itself is not stressful.  How do you talk to yourself when getting ready to make calls?  Often times the self talk goes something like this: “I can’t call now, I don't want to bother them, or I hate getting sales calls at this time of day, or they probably don’t want my _____ anyway, or they’ll probably say no.”


If you tell yourself any of these, go deeper.  What’s underneath those statements?  Pick one and dive in.    Let’s take “They’ll probably say no.” The first level might be that they are busy. The next level might be they don’t want what I have to offer.  Next would be I am not really that good. The next would be I’m not good enough.  Hence the stress and fear.  


When we keep to the facts.  I am dialing, calling to check in. Make an offer and thank them for their time and great chat. Everything else is stuff we make up and then act like it’s true. Next time you feel fear about anything, go through this exercise to see what’s at the bottom of it and check to see if any of it is true for you. When I have a fear attack, I go through the steps and see it’s just fear.  I experience the fear and do NOT make up a story about it.  If I just experience it, it passes and I can jump on the phone with no problem.


If you would like some freedom from fear, message me and let’s talk about you coming to my workshop. Freedom from Chaos, Fear, and Lack.



You are at a networking event.  In hearing the brief introductions, you notice a woman that you might help in her business.  You strike up a conversation by asking a question or two about her business and her challenges.  You notice where you might help and you make an offer. ZIP your lip. Let her be the first to speak.  She will say something: yes, no, I’ll think about it, etc.  Whatever she says you must go into more questions and let her talk about it.Your biggest asset is the listening.  If she feels heard, feels “gotten” and likes what she sees, she will talk herself into it.


An employee asks if he can talk to you.  He is unhappy in his job. Ask questions about his situation, what is the problem, what has he done about it and what does he need? Then ZIP your lip.  He needs to know it’s safe to talk, needs to feel heard and understood so he can tell you what he needs. Make an offer to assist him and listen.  


In any situation that you want to move forward, mend, or enroll, listening is the way to that end. Most people don’t want you to fix the problem. They want to be heard and validated. When that happens, they can come up with the solution with little prodding.


Pay attention in your next conversations, be it sales, employee issues, or in friendships.  LISTEN, be interested in them vs your responses or actions.  You will be surprised at how easy it is to have them respond in a positive way.


People Do Not Want or Need Your Product

Picture yourself walking into a large group of business owners to network.  Not all groups are like this, but I envision driving down a busy street and seeing the eleventy-billion ads along each side. “Buy me”, “Have I got a deal for you”, “This is the best___ on the market”  and you are one of them.


Here is a hot tip: People do not want or need your product.


This week we celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr Day. “ I have a dream…” Nothing stopped him from pursuing his dream.  It even lived on after he was shot. This is what you look for in a network meeting or sales conversation. What is their dream?


Everyone has wishes and dreams for themselves.  Your job is to give them an experience of you that triggers their experience of having that dream realized. Then they want what you have. They will buy your product  because of the experience of you that they have.  They are buying you.


So stop talking about how great your product is and what the benefits are. Start asking questions to uncover their dream. Ask them what they have done so far to actualize their dream. What will unfold is where you and your product can assist them to make their dream a reality. It’s all about them.  You are just a conduit to connect them to the possibility of achieving their dream.


Use this check in list while in a sales situation:

  1. Who is doing most of the talking?

  2. Are you asking questions or giving information

  3. Is the person curious or are their eyes glossed over.

  4. Are you discussing your product or them?

If any answer is about you vs them, STOP! Change the conversation to be about them. Keep getting curious about them.  You cannot say the wrong thing to the right person and you cannot say the right thing to the wrong person, so just be curious and present you. That’s what they will buy.


Are You On Target?

Can yoiu believe it? You are 15 days until the beginning of the 4th quarter of 2015. How are you doing? If you are on target, GREAT!  If you aren’t, let’s get busy on the income target.

  1. Calculate the difference between your target and your actual income to date. Let’s say your target is $60,000 and you have made $40,000 by the end of the 3rd quarter. The difference is $20,000.  This is how much you need to make by the end of the 4th quarter.

  2. Calculate monthly earnings to date. 40,000/9mos = $4,444 per month

  3. Calculate what you would make a month if you hit your target.  $60,000/12mos = $5000

  4. Calculate the difference between the monthly incomes. 5000 - 4444 = $556 difference

  5. To meet your target, you only have to generate $556 more per month than you are currently generating.

  6. Generate per week $556/4wks = $139 per week extra.

  7. Meeting a target can be broken down to exactly how much you need to sell per day. In this case it’s $27.80 per day.

Now that’s do-able. Do your own calculations with your numbers and see the results for you.  Then make a plan of how to sell your amount every workday. Get going! You’ve got this!


Your Ideal Client is YOU

Why doesn’t everyone want your product or service.  You see the value and the benefit they would gain and they don’t seem to.  Why?


Oil of Olay is not necessariy good for everyone that has skin. Not everyone is your potential customer. so, how do you know who is your customer? the place to look is at  yourself.  You love what you do and your products.  You see value because… It’s worked for you, for your family and some friends. There are many similar and quality products and services out there.  Put your customer had on and ask yourself why would you buy the product or service?  List out the reasons.  Behind each reason is a little pain of loss, of wanting something, etc. Look for people just like you and speak to their pain. Get them to see that you totally understand their needs and desires.


There is so much competition for specific products and services all around you. If you take yourself out of the roll of competition of product vs product, what is left is you and your enthusiasm. They don’t need your product. They buy you and what they think you can do for them using this product or service.


Your ideal client is YOU:  Why you would buy the product, what benefit you saw in it for you, and the experience you got….they want that.

Leave a comment below of your thoughts about this article


No One Needs Your Product

Have you noticed?  There are eleventy-billion face creams, life coaches and health drinks out there.  You are very excited about your product and think everyone should buy some.  However, they don’t need your product.


People buy from emotion.  Your prospects are having an experience of you while you share the information about your product. That experience will be test of whether they buy or not. The experience of you tells them if they can connect with you and your product or not. Because of the experience factor today’s sales conversations must go deeper than features and benefits. Ask questions that will get to the core of why this person might want the product.  Talk to their pain or discomfort.


Share your own story and results you got from using the product with enthusiasm and excitement.


When the prospects can connect with you because of their experience of you then they get an experience of themselves. This is the buying emotion.  If the prospects can visualize their face younger, life enhanced or losing weight from the drink, then they get to experience themselves in that state. The possibility is created and can be felt. They believe their pain can be relieved.


Your prospects will buy when they feel these three components.

  • -You get me. You understand.

  • -You have been there.

  • -You can get me there.


They don’t need your product.  They need the hope and possibility for themselves. Try this with your prospects today and let me know how it worked in the comments below.




Sales-What Does it Mean to You

Customers want to buy, but they don’t want to be sold. What does SALES mean to you?  I used to think is was convincing people they needed the features and benefits I had to offer. All I had to do was to say enough features and benefits and people would buy.  Wrong.  I learned something a number of years ago.  I was selling Energy Audits to large corporations. I tried an experiment.  I just asked questions about their energy costs, the status of their bottom line and if I could add some money to the bottom line, would they be interested? Absolutely! What shifted was I was not selling, I was engaging with them about their business and treated them like the expert. I was in service to them.  I sky rocked to the number one sales person out of 40 in 6 months.


People don’t care what you have to offer.  They care about what’s in it for them. So, that’s how you talk to them. Dig deeper into their wants.  Find out what is in it for them and give it to them as a choice. It’s all relationship and service.  Selling will get you no where.


Do you know what “they” want?  Do you know what their pain is in their position? Speak to that and they can relate to what you offer and see what’s in it for them.


Opt in on my website and get the Clarity Tool to help you get clear about what’s in it for them.



Photo Credit:




Marketing Who is your market

My market has the name Anne.  She is between 40-65+ and has 2 grown or almost grown children in college or above.  Her religious beliefs are nondenominational with a new age twist. As a business owner/executive she is very passionate about her business and her  life.

Being very motivated she works hard and feels she is falling more and more behind.  Something is missing.  She’s developing an increasing dissatisfaction with where it is all going and knows something has to change, but hasn’t a clue. She’s hungry for a new way of looking.

Sit down and write all the characteristics that identify your ideal client/customer.  Have a picture on your desk and “talk” to her when tanking any major action in your business, “Anne, how do you feel about this?” If she says no, really evaluate the value of your planned action.

The clearer you are about who is your ideal client/customer, the better you can draw them to you.

Photo Credit: Dean Washington Global Ventures

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