Chaos

Let me describe chaos: A state of confusion with no order and apparently no control. Sometimes there is so much on our plate that we don’t even know where to start.  When at home we think of things to do at work and when we are at work, we think of what needs to be done at home. In today’s world we have kids, spouses, work, sports, friends, chores etc.  We end up putting one foot in front of the other with no real plan or structure. Circumstances have us around the neck.

 

How many of you occasionally live in chaos? How can this happen? How did things get so out of control?  PERSPECTIVE.  In the chaotic state everything has the same weight or urgency. Thus, any new injection of something to do is as important as what you are doing right now. It only adds more feeling of chaos. This is actually balance. Balance means that all parts are equal; the same. No prioritizing no alignment with purpose and no sense of accomplishment. Plus a lot of negative self-talk goes on during these times.

 

What you are looking for is Harmony: consistent and orderly arrangement of the parts. Each part of your life dances with all the other parts to create harmony.  Sometimes work is more urgent than home or kids are more urgent than chores, etc.  

 

Circumstances do not create stress or chaos.  What we do to ourselves about the circumstance creates the stress.  When each “thing to do” is equal in urgency, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves: I can’t do it, not enough time, not enough money etc. The reality is you have what you have and must make choices of your priorities.  When in harmony you dance with the circumstances, plan out the tasks and be totally present to what is in the now.

 

Right this very minute what is the most important thing to do? Not by end of day, but right now. When we give in to the confusion and disorganization of chaos, we lose our innate sense of what’s next. Step back take a deep breath and ask, “What is most important right now?” This simple question will help you and guide you to the appropriate next step and without stress.

 

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Is Fear Running Your Business?

What is this fear?  There is innate fear like being startled from a loud noise or fear to go out on the plexiglass see-through floor in a high building.  These are automatic reactions that are there to preserve life. However most fears are learned.  A child is not born with a fear of spiders or snakes.  He is influenced by his culture and environment.  Evidence is collected from parents and significant others that something is to be feared.

 

As we get older we develop fears from association.  We have associations that cause fear.  “If I don’t make enough money this month, I will be a failure.” “If I talk about that with my spouse, a fight will ensue?”  We also make up fears based on previous fears. 

We all have fear of success, fear of failure, fear of what will happen, fear that something won’t happen….it goes on and on.

 

My question is...is Fear running your business? If so, it’s time to shift and have you run your business.  Fear is an emotion and emotions are just energy passing through us. So often there is an action and then we have a knee-jerk reaction, based on past experience that usually has emotion attached to it.  When the emotion comes, we think it is REAL and go with it and indulge ourselves with thoughts that feed the emotion. This is especially true with fear. We get the initial heart racing, and quicker breathing and then we go into “what if…” and then react to the what if scenario.  Eventually we are almost immobilized. A brief scenario might be, you are afraid that a client won’t pay you on time. What if he doesn’t pay me on time? What if I can’t cover my mortgage, I’ll lose my house, I’ll lose my job, I’ll be a street person. It is this indulging ourselves about “what if” that sends us down a tunnel. In fact, it’s all made up and we are reacting to it as if it is true. We are so into the made up future that we will lose sleep, stop eating and become a nervous wreck.

 

When you catch yourself in this spiral ask yourself three things:

What am I feeling

What do I think about it

What do I need

This will take you out of the automatic spiral and have you make a choice about what you need to make it better.  You can’t be in fear and in problem resolution at the same time.

 

Hop on over to my web site kristydeegan.com and download your clarity tool ang get clear about what is important in your life.

 

 

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What is Feminine Leadership?

I recently became an Amazon  #1 best selling author: "Faces of the New Feminine Leadership"

What is Feminine Leadership? It is a management style generally characterized by more feminine qualities and behaviors such as empathy, effective communication, and community in the workplace.  I am referring to the traits not the gender of the leader. Both men and women can have the feminine leader traits that the world is starving for. However, when a woman is in her power, passion, radiance and joy, there is nothing more compelling. As she allows herself to shine and share her truth with love and presence, the world becomes a better place.

 

Eight authors came together to share their story about connecting to their true self and what it takes to have the courage to lead from the heart. We stand for a new conversations in business where fear, scarcity and competition are changed to empowerment, abundance, and community. The time is now for this change in conversation. Look at government, big business, even small business - where is the heart and soul of people?

 

Most of us have buried that part of us: covered it with competition, to-do lists, deadlines and fear. It is scary to do the inner work to truly know yourself and the rewards are miraculous.

 

 

PhotoCredit:www.fsleadership.com

 

Learn more about Kristy Deegan

My chapter is about getting on the other side of fear

 

Please leave a comment below.

 

 

 

 

 

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Tax Time

Oh my Goodness, it’s tax time. How many of you are in a dither about getting your taxes done? Is it the chaos of loose receipts? The fear of what you’ll have to pay? Or the sense of scarcity of not having the money to pay?

 

Most of us have a “thing” about doing taxes.  Forbes has a 5 step process that is easy to follow:

  1. Gather your receipts.

  2. Make a list of income sources.

  3. Consider an IRA contribution.

  4. Revisit your withholding instructions. Your savings rates might improve if you set withholding levels so you receive a refund you can deposit as one lump sum.

  5. Devise a better system for next year.

The key here is to devise a better system. Trying to do all 5 steps with a filing deadline breathing down your neck is really a stressor and it makes it more difficult.

 

I fine-tune my system every year. I have other people do the final work for me, so the task is to have the detail together in a way that works for the tax man AND me. That way I can make the tax appointment, easily gather my information and the forms are filed with ease and grace. This way there is no beating myself up, spending hours finding all my pieces of paper and no shoebox of receipts to give the tax preparer.  

 

Oh, one other thing. I have changed my attitude about paying taxes.  I still have opinions about what the government should do with my tax dollar and I view paying taxes very differently.  

 

I am grateful that I pay taxes because it means that I made money this year.

 

Consider changing your method of preparation and your attitude about the process and it could actually have you be more accountable on a regular basis.  Accountability-keeping your word to yourself and others actually builds self worth, self confidence and self love, all of which lead to beint more producte and creative.

 

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The First Quarter is Gone

Egads! The end of the first quarter has arrived.  The first thing we human beings do is to put a judgement on our progress. “I’m good because I reached my quarterly goal.” Or “I’m bad because I did not meet my quarterly goal.”  

 

Judgment stops us in our tracks! If we are “good” for reaching our goal, we become complacent and ride out the next quarter without any efforts toward improvement.  If we are “bad” because we didn’t reach our goal, we beat ourselves up and often become stuck in our opinion of us.  The problem with beating ourselves up is that we miss the opportunity for growth and learning. It is impossible to beat myself up and learn a the same time. I get lost in the judgment and the “badness” of it and totally miss the learning of how I can improve.

 

So, that being said, the first quarter is over.  Evaluate what you need to generate to meet your yearly goal.  Chunk it down to what you need to do on a daily basis both in contacts and sales. Give yourself a daily target, schedule the time to do these tasks and get back in the saddle. Be compassionate and kind to yourself in this process. You will be surprised at how clear you can be. I’d love to hear from you in the comment section below.

 

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: FREE eBook for a limited time: Faces of the New Feminine Leadership

I’m beyond excited to present the publishing release of my new book, Faces of the New Feminine Leadership: Real Women. Real Conversations. Real Impact.

In, Faces of the New Feminine Leadership: Real Women. Real Conversations. Real Impact 8 women come together revealing stories of tragedy to triumph.

It has officially launched today and you can find it on Amazon right now. 

As a special celebration and in gratitude for all the love and support I’ve received from my entire community during the creation and production process, I’m making the new eBook publication available FREE for everyone!  

You can get it here on Amazon TODAY, Monday, March 28 through Friday, April 1, 2016. Just click HERE: Faces of the New Feminine Leadership: Real Women. Real Conversations. Real Impact

                                                                                        

What can you expect fromFaces of the New Feminine Leadership…

  • .Stories of challenges & courage.
  • .Learn to trust yourself and live more fully.
  • .A book for women who know their life is worth something more.

The BEST part?

It’s FREE for you now, but hurry! You don’t want to miss out!

Faces of the New Feminine Leadership: Real Women. Real Conversations. Real Impact

Wishing you a passionate & purposeful life,

Kristy Deegan

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Religious Holidays

There are many religions and they all celebrate holidays.  The meaning of a religious holiday is to celebrate and worship their God, higher power, whatever the name. These holidays are traditions to connect us to our religious history and to our higher power: to remember who we are and why we are on the planet.

 

To me every day is a religious day. Not in a church sense, but in a God connection sense.  I believe we are all here for a purpose and I believe that purpose is to be unconditional love, peace and joy in the world.  

 

Our egos, and self talk, and hurts are all creating separatation, isolation and fear.  These states lead to opinions and judgments, more separation and even war.  Consider the possibility that we are all of one energy.  Just think what this world would be like if we created oneness vs separation.  

 

As you go through this religious holiday season, look at where you create oneness and where you feed separation.  Where can you build bridges? Even have loving conversations.  Connect to your God and be love.

 

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Language is Key

Our language is so important to how we feel about ourselves.  For me, if I say, “I’ll try or maybe I can,” my power and self confidence go out the window.  But if I say,” count on me or watch my dust,” I step up to the plate and make it happen. We invent our life by how we speak.  We create who we are by the words we use.

 

Often the words are to protect us or give us an out. Let me give an example of the words yes, no and maybe.  I want you to visualize two cliffs with a deep chasm between them. The left side is YES - powerful, confident and from the heart.  The Right side is NO -powerful, confident and from the heart.  Between the two cliffs is a tiny, swaying bridge.  This is MAYBE.  There is no power here.  The bridge swings with the wind. If you stay there, you might lose your footing or just hang on with hope it will be okay.

 

YES calls you up to do what you said yes to.  NO is a choice that it’s not for me at this time.  In both situations YOU make a choice and get into action. MAYBE gives you a foot out, so you don’t have to commit.  It allows you to not be responsible for the outcome.  It allows you to be nice vs tell the truth and it keeps you mooshy and small. The great thing is that you can always shift from a yes to a no and visa versa. Hanging out in maybe is stagnant and scary.  

 

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