Life Coach

Are you the CEO of your life?

Does your life have you around the neck or are you in charge? What is a CEO? S/he ultimately is responsible for the actions within the business; holds the vision and direction of the company and is in charge at all times both through position and respect. We too often experience the circumstances in our lives as if they are happening TO us, creating stress in our lives. Stress is not caused by the circumstance; stress is what we do to ourselves and others BECAUSE of the circumstance. Have you ever blamed someone else for a failure or a mistake? Absolutely you have! It’s our first “knee jerk” reaction. When you declare that you are the the CEO of your life, you can choose different opinions, judgements and reactions to every circumstance. You can have the life you want. Are you open to less stress in your life? I invite…
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Measurement of success

We always do better with any project that we take on when we know our target and we measure how close we are to that target on a regular basis. So often we wait until after the end of the month to see how we did last month. Break your sales target down to a daily target and measure your status at end of each week. You will know how close you are to your weekly total and rev up your efforts to meet the target. Always pick a target that seems hard to reach, but reachable. You want to be “on the edge” to keep in action each day. Set aside 1-2 hours per day to do sales. Put it on your schedule and hold it like an appointment with a client. This is your time to grow your business. During the last 1-2 hour appointment of the week,…
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What is your relationship with money

Do you love it? Avoid it? Need it? Fear it? How you are with money determines if you attract it or not. Our early decisions about money: “It takes hard work to make money, not smart enough to make good money, money comes freely and effortlessly, etc.” determine how we are and who we are about money. In business we need to find out what money means to us. Do we love it, want it etc. The amount of money you receive is directly related to two things: 1. The value you bring. 2. The number of requests you make. You can be of great value and due to preconceived notions, you don’t make requests and you get no money Conversely, you can be of little value and make requests and you will still get no money. Both have to be in place   Here is a question for you:…
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Teach People How to Be with You (CMigrator copy 1)

I hate to tell you this, but we have taught every person in our lives how to be with us either proactively or by default. When you tell your partner to stop yelling at you, you are teaching he/r how to be with you. When the boss yells and you let him do it, you are teaching him that the behavior is acceptable. It’s so easy to say, “ He was mean,” or “I hate it when he acts like that around me.” YOU taught them that you accept that behavior. Since you taught them one way, you can teach them another. Let’s take the example of your partner yelling at you. (This could be personal or business partner) Here are the steps to “retrain” he/r. 1. Get really clear about how you WANT to be treated including concrete actions 2. Make an appointment with the partner. The agenda being…
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Authenticity

I once joined a dating site to see if I could find Mr. Right. Boy! was that an experience! The first possibility arrived late, weighing at least 200 pounds more than he weighed in his picture...YEOW! Second possibility was so in love with himself, I don’t know how he was able to fit me in. And the third showed up having aged about 30 years between the picture and the meeting... The fourth was like a robot. He seemed to rehearse what he would say and regurgitate it out at the appropriate time. These “pretends,” lies, half-truths happen in business everyday. “Products do miracles,” “oh, the extra costs are..,” “Have I got a deal for you.” All of these types of statements have me running the other way. None of them are authentic. When a salesperson talks to me, I want to know s/he is interested in what I want…
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The payoff is suffering

In previous blogs we have discussed that we make up stuff, we are in relationship with our opinions and judgements, and we love to be right. These are basic human traits. HOW DO WE POSSIBLY RELATE TO EACH OTHER??? So here is a hot tip. We do these things to get the payoff: suffering. I bet heads turned and dander went up. When we suffer we don’t have to be responsible and can blame others. We can hide out and not show up as we truly can be. We have an excuse for why “things” aren’t going right and it isn’t us. This state of suffering is very strong and will override love in a relationship, success in a business and kill our passion. I suggest that is why we seem to be society of people that feel like victims. The world is happening to us and we have no…
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We love to be right

We are always looking for validation and evidence to be right about what we see, think and feel. We LOVE to be right and will do anything to make that happen. We will even sabotage ourselves and others to be right. We will “mis-hear,” distort what we see and make up stuff all in the name of being right about who we think we are, what we think and what we believe. Who we are is a conglomeration of what we thought, believed and spoke. We become what we think. We made up who we are based on our circumstances, our perceptions and what we’ve been told. Since we made it up, we can make up something different. Being RIGHT prohibits altering who we think we are. We are so adamant about being right that there is no possibility of seeing another point of view. Alternate points of view is…
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We are in relationship with our opinions and judgements about other people

“I already know how most people are... I already know what your answer will be, so why ask?” We develop opinions and judgements about others in a matter of seconds and then treat them like that’s all there is to them. We look for evidence to be right about the opinions and judgements we made up and continue to cement what we already know. Rarely do we look for something new in a person. Once we have them “made” there is no more curiosity about them. Listen to yourself when you are planning a difficult conversation with a close person. You have the entire conversation (both sides) in your head before you open your mouth. You are talking to the opinions and judgements, NOT the person. I remember a story where a man had a flat tire in the desert about 3 miles from town and has no spare. He…
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We make up stuff and live like it’s true

I have a frown! It’s on my face when I am thinking, confused, concentrating or angry.... I look mad when the frown is there. People make up all kinds of stuff about my frown: I am disapproving, angry, frustrated etc. Then they react as if what they made up is true. WITHOUT CHECKING IT OUT. This creates major misunderstandings. Remember an earlier blog about the 6 different communications that happen at the same time? Well, If you make up what you think s/he said and respond to that as if it is true, it may not be correct. Knowing there are so many ways to misunderstand, always check it out. If you feel upset with respect to what the other person says, ALWAYS check it out before you react. Please make a comment about times you made up something that was incorrect...... Photo Credit: jjgallaher blogspot.com
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Honor the person as if a God

Truly relating is rare. By definition relating is: befriend; empathize, identify, sympathize; to have or establish a relationship - interact. How many of us really know how to do this? We are so intent on getting our message across or making sure the other person hears us, that we forget about being in relationship. A common example is when you are met with a person who has lost a loved one. That person needs to talk, be heard and grieve. What most of us do is try to “fix” them, give an account of a personal loss, or change the subject. The person grieving ends up taking care of YOU. Honor the other person as if they were a GOD. Hang on their every word as if it was gospel. Try to imagine yourself in their shoes, empathize with their concerns. Believe that everything they say is important. This will…
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