What is this fear? There is innate fear like being startled from a loud noise or fear to go out on the plexiglass see-through floor in a high building. These are automatic reactions that are there to preserve life. However most fears are learned. A child is not born with a fear of spiders or snakes. He is influenced by his culture and environment. Evidence is collected from parents and significant others that something is to be feared.
As we get older we develop fears from association. We have associations that cause fear. “If I don’t make enough money this month, I will be a failure.” “If I talk about that with my spouse, a fight will ensue?” We also make up fears based on previous fears.
We all have fear of success, fear of failure, fear of what will happen, fear that something won’t happen….it goes on and on.
My question is...is Fear running your business? If so, it’s time to shift and have you run your business. Fear is an emotion and emotions are just energy passing through us. So often there is an action and then we have a knee-jerk reaction, based on past experience that usually has emotion attached to it. When the emotion comes, we think it is REAL and go with it and indulge ourselves with thoughts that feed the emotion. This is especially true with fear. We get the initial heart racing, and quicker breathing and then we go into “what if…” and then react to the what if scenario. Eventually we are almost immobilized. A brief scenario might be, you are afraid that a client won’t pay you on time. What if he doesn’t pay me on time? What if I can’t cover my mortgage, I’ll lose my house, I’ll lose my job, I’ll be a street person. It is this indulging ourselves about “what if” that sends us down a tunnel. In fact, it’s all made up and we are reacting to it as if it is true. We are so into the made up future that we will lose sleep, stop eating and become a nervous wreck.
When you catch yourself in this spiral ask yourself three things:
What am I feeling
What do I think about it
What do I need
This will take you out of the automatic spiral and have you make a choice about what you need to make it better. You can’t be in fear and in problem resolution at the same time.
Hop on over to my web site kristydeegan.com and download your clarity tool ang get clear about what is important in your life.
Kristy is a Personal Evolution Coach with nearly three decades of helping others achieve their highest goals. Being able to bring clarity to any situation will ultimately resolve that situation and leave each party with a feeling of worthiness, fulfillment and gratitude.