How many of you have been afraid at one time or another? Fear of failure, fear to get on stage, fear to pick up the phone. I know that sometimes the phone is just so heavy that I can’t make calls that day or I busy myself with other things and don’t get around to it. Sound familiar?  

What if the circumstance, ie speaking, sales calls or confrontation, is not the problem?  Stress/fear is NOT caused by the circumstance.  It is caused by what we do to ourselves ABOUT the circumstance. Let’s say the phone is very heavy today.  A phone call is basically pushing numbers and saying hello. That in and of itself is not stressful.  How do you talk to yourself when getting ready to make calls?  Often times the self talk goes something like this: “I can’t call now, I don't want to bother them, or I hate getting sales calls at this time of day, or they probably don’t want my _____ anyway, or they’ll probably say no.”

If you tell yourself any of these, go deeper.  What’s underneath those statements?  Pick one and dive in.    Let’s take “They’ll probably say no.” The first level might be that they are busy. The next level might be they don’t want what I have to offer.  Next would be I am not really that good. The next would be I’m not good enough.  Hence the stress and fear.  

When we keep to the facts.  I am dialing, calling to check in. Make an offer and thank them for their time and great chat. Everything else is stuff we make up and then act like it’s true. Next time you feel fear about anything, go through this exercise to see what’s at the bottom of it and check to see if any of it is true for you. When I have a fear attack, I go through the steps and see it’s just fear.  I experience the fear and do NOT make up a story about it.  If I just experience it, it passes and I can jump on the phone with no problem.

If you would like some freedom from fear, message me and let’s talk about you coming to my workshop. Freedom from Chaos, Fear, and Lack.

PhotoCredit:thedailyquotes.com