Listen to their listening

“What?”  “Why are you responding like that?”  “I didn’t say that!” “I can’t believe you can think that!”  Any of these sound familiar? So often we are SURE of what we said and get annoyed that the person responded in an unexpected manner.  This happens between spouses, business relationships, parents and is universal BECAUSE, as I mentioned last week: there are so many variables in each conversation that it is a wonder that we communicate at all.

What’s wonderful is that you can always clean up anything that you mess up in a conversation.  The key is to listen to how the other person is listening to you. Get very curious about their reactions. If they don’t “look like” they are hearing what you are saying or if they are reacting in a way that doesn’t “go with” what you meant, you can interrupt yourself and ask them how they are hearing you? The miscommunication will escalate if the reactions are ignored and end up in blaming each other vs resolve.

Most of the time we are concerned about what we want to say vs listening to how we are being heard. If the focus is on them vs me, you will catch miscommunications very early on and redirect to a common end. Leave a vignette about how “far off” a communication went by not listening to the other party


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Kristy Deegan

Kristy is a Personal Evolution Coach with nearly three decades of helping others achieve their highest goals. Being able to bring clarity to any situation will ultimately resolve that situation and leave each party with a feeling of worthiness, fulfillment and gratitude.

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