Freedom From Fear

How many of you have been afraid at one time or another? Fear of failure, fear to get on stage, fear to pick up the phone. I know that sometimes the phone is just so heavy that I can’t make calls that day or I busy myself with other things and don’t get around to it. Sound familiar?  

 

What if the circumstance, ie speaking, sales calls or confrontation, is not the problem?  Stress/fear is NOT caused by the circumstance.  It is caused by what we do to ourselves ABOUT the circumstance. Let’s say the phone is very heavy today.  A phone call is basically pushing numbers and saying hello. That in and of itself is not stressful.  How do you talk to yourself when getting ready to make calls?  Often times the self talk goes something like this: “I can’t call now, I don't want to bother them, or I hate getting sales calls at this time of day, or they probably don’t want my _____ anyway, or they’ll probably say no.”

 

If you tell yourself any of these, go deeper.  What’s underneath those statements?  Pick one and dive in.    Let’s take “They’ll probably say no.” The first level might be that they are busy. The next level might be they don’t want what I have to offer.  Next would be I am not really that good. The next would be I’m not good enough.  Hence the stress and fear.  

 

When we keep to the facts.  I am dialing, calling to check in. Make an offer and thank them for their time and great chat. Everything else is stuff we make up and then act like it’s true. Next time you feel fear about anything, go through this exercise to see what’s at the bottom of it and check to see if any of it is true for you. When I have a fear attack, I go through the steps and see it’s just fear.  I experience the fear and do NOT make up a story about it.  If I just experience it, it passes and I can jump on the phone with no problem.

 

If you would like some freedom from fear, message me and let’s talk about you coming to my workshop. Freedom from Chaos, Fear, and Lack.

 

PhotoCredit:thedailyquotes.com

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Is Fear Running Your Business?

What is this fear?  There is innate fear like being startled from a loud noise or fear to go out on the plexiglass see-through floor in a high building.  These are automatic reactions that are there to preserve life. However most fears are learned.  A child is not born with a fear of spiders or snakes.  He is influenced by his culture and environment.  Evidence is collected from parents and significant others that something is to be feared.

 

As we get older we develop fears from association.  We have associations that cause fear.  “If I don’t make enough money this month, I will be a failure.” “If I talk about that with my spouse, a fight will ensue?”  We also make up fears based on previous fears. 

We all have fear of success, fear of failure, fear of what will happen, fear that something won’t happen….it goes on and on.

 

My question is...is Fear running your business? If so, it’s time to shift and have you run your business.  Fear is an emotion and emotions are just energy passing through us. So often there is an action and then we have a knee-jerk reaction, based on past experience that usually has emotion attached to it.  When the emotion comes, we think it is REAL and go with it and indulge ourselves with thoughts that feed the emotion. This is especially true with fear. We get the initial heart racing, and quicker breathing and then we go into “what if…” and then react to the what if scenario.  Eventually we are almost immobilized. A brief scenario might be, you are afraid that a client won’t pay you on time. What if he doesn’t pay me on time? What if I can’t cover my mortgage, I’ll lose my house, I’ll lose my job, I’ll be a street person. It is this indulging ourselves about “what if” that sends us down a tunnel. In fact, it’s all made up and we are reacting to it as if it is true. We are so into the made up future that we will lose sleep, stop eating and become a nervous wreck.

 

When you catch yourself in this spiral ask yourself three things:

What am I feeling

What do I think about it

What do I need

This will take you out of the automatic spiral and have you make a choice about what you need to make it better.  You can’t be in fear and in problem resolution at the same time.

 

Hop on over to my web site kristydeegan.com and download your clarity tool ang get clear about what is important in your life.

 

 

PhotoCredit:muscleandfitness.com

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